blonde jy en deurmekaar my
dit gaan soos 'n malle .... meule
kom, kom en gaan rondom
verstar gerig loop ek dieselfde pad
gister en vandag
(ek se maar net vir iemand wat wil luister
en ek)
maar jou glimlag kleur alles helder
jou sagte oË wat niks eis nie
as almal maar soos jy was
soos die see en wind(stil en sag)
sonder haat en nyd en oorlog
en alles wat ons uitdink
om mekaar seer te maak
orals vat en glad nie gee
kry, kry en kry om alles te wil hê
om nêrens heen te vat
kan ons nie stop?
as jy opkyk
sien ek uit om jou te antwoord
jou weerloosheid is soos niks wat ek al ervaar het nie
en ek wil jou net beskerm
teen alles daarbuite
niemand is soos jy daar buite
ons gee nie sonder om gevra te word
ons help nie sonder om terug te kry
ons praat twee tale
een vir nou; en later
vals is soos waar
om te gebruik op eie voorskrif
jou vriendelikheid altyd
jy gee my hoop
jy blonde meisie
jy laat my droom
jy met die sagte glimlag
iets sal ek altyd saamneem
in die harde , leed
en pyn
1990 - vir Elmien
Spring WhirlWind
There's a wind on the loose
Drifting in among the leaves
The stale dry grass of winter
Is tossed up, up into the breeze
spring buds sudden purple
Colours bold and rash, mad and brash
A flood of song
A merge of scents
clouds gather as well
My pulse racing
Fear, joy, storms, flowers
Spring is brimmed with change
Good and mad, glad or sad
Eeach spring's a swirling canvass
To begin,
---------Sept'93
TO FLY
i knew a man once
- a boy should i say -
A quick smile he had
But a heart locked away
he wanted to fly, to soar
In the face of a riproaring storm
So much he sought; and thought
The wind was so icy cold
And cosy inside
So cosy inside
i knew that boy,
- or man should i say -
He took his heart -the wind spurred him on
Brought it outside
Showed it the light
Made it take flight
To never again return empty.
-------'94
COFFEE THOUGHTS
A blank page is a friend
Little scribbler
A beautiful friend is a delight
Mystery and amazement is above all else
And pain sets our orbit
Do not under estimate it
But also not the child's wild laughter
to the serene
A blank page is a delight
And these words
To the lone
Wish us well mister life
For i believe in you?
---------feb'96
Suicide
i love no one
i love you all
no one caused me pain
it was my own fall.
----------- sept'96
Beggar
i long to be near
to catch the scraps
that your soul
let slip clear
i wait in dying pain
to see if perhaps
you will forgive me myself
i live in obsessed poetry
to feed of the love
of your delusion in me
i beg for your
voice, your face, your laugh
your thoughts, your tears
for you.
sept/des'96
JellogoG
O jellogoG you big fat slob
you lie there like a bloated fish
a mass of solid slush
hit you hard - it merely quivers
pray and all we get is blubber
swearing gets us nowhere either
how did anything so monstrously detached
hatch a world so complex, finely matched?
the feat's above my jello insight
i think your final sculpture left you dazed
what shall we say O boneless One
you botched the seven days.
-------------- '97?
MAAN OOR TANGANJIKA
Die eiland slaap teen middernag
Die dikroom maan se vingers sag
En ruisloos op haar stil gelaat
van warm klip en plaat
Sy asem in en uit
En skep 'n onheilspellende geruis
'n magdom donker moontlikheid
Wat inkruip in ons hart
slaap stil en sag o eiland
Vanaand is daar geen rou geweld
Onder jou ronde maan
net die oerskerf bene
Wat my wakker hou in onrus
'n 'rinnering aan vuurgeboorte
Smelte rots wat uitsproei in 'n
sissend lawastroom
Vuurspuwend bloei jou ma
Jou uit haar oopgekleefde wond
Om gloeiend kwaad te pols
Tot jy verhard
In hierdie skeurvallei
en nou lë ons hier saam
Slaap stil en sag op jou o 'land
Vannaand is daar geen ou geweld
Onder jou spierwit maan.
--------- des'96
Zanzibar
Walking alone
Seeing trees, children, coral houses
Earth and see around
Stepping on in sun scorched heat
in restless twilight
into the windy night
Waiting...
Thinking thoughts circling
Circulating twisting thoughts
Uncertain answering
Compulsed confused
Breaking over and over
the same turf
Reforming then again
the murky surf
walking alone
Air of lightness simmering under
slumbering passion
brooding stretching wings
sensing current
anticipation, loneliness, pain
ecstatic joy
high then low
surging then withdrawing
reigning in with no release.
walking alone
The moonlight on her soft feet.
----------- dec'96
ORION EYES
Those Eyes
It Looks Like An Exploding Star
i Took My Chance To See
When Unsuspecting They Looked Up At Me
Your Eyes
A Mustard Yellow Star
In Curving Spikes Of Mirror Mystery
Shot
Through The Colour Of Your Iris Sweep
Exploded
Round The Entrance Of Your Deep,
And Signed Your Open Face In Beauty.
---------- dec'96
Matters of the heart
in matters of the heart
¿Who determines the decree?
I need to know
Dear silent one
It all depends you see
If one must pray with childlike plight
Or fight with all my might
Or freely watch and take the cup
For maybe all of the above or none or any is the way
I know not how
For her to stay
--------- '97
POETRY
these blades of inexpressible connivance
spew
Elemental from my 'fused whole
urging
Ancient cells in heart
conducting
Action charge
composed
By ordered thought
spill
Forth in chiselled wrought this raw symphonic guts i must
expunge
and for a moment here it lies,
Imperfect half-digested cries
Already starting to divide
Fragile chewed up leaves
Poetry of grass
I spit this cud for those who toil like
Gypsy beetles turning soil
And for myself,
a drawn and acted stage
a level field of quiet space.
--------- '97
It doesn't matter
it is no matter
A thing needn't be examined
to exist
It does not need a name
to speak
Or rubbed to shine
¿what is it to measure a thing?
¿Does life lie in the eye?
Or in the pen
Or the touch of i think
Therefore ... i doubt!
matter loves from the inside out
And even that is in-be-tween
Or so it seems
To one
--------------
SPIRAL DREAM
if you do not love me
i cease to be born
My parents begot me
i exist as a child
Friends met me
and i exist as a brother
This earth hugs me,
i wheel in her circle
but your life creates me whole
You are my peace.
Before i was nameless
Now a voice calls
I attempt to understand all of this
But it only seems
If you do not hear me
i cease to be formed
by chance,
If you open your heart
I slip from my watery tomb
Ripple outwards....
Expanding....
To wander with you among the stars.
We need not explain ourselves
I enfold you and you me
I touch you
My fingers hesitant along the curve
Of nameless beauty
And time does not touch us.
silently ...
We watch the sun set in fire
And the curtain of night
alight from the restless sea
We see it in our different ways
And i learn from you seeing
And you from mine.
my dream,
You can only wait.
Suspended in time's eternity,
Learning, puzzled,
Feeling life's force.
And yet!...
by my soul (by chance)
If you love me
A Spiral
You And I
We Dance,
--------- '97
the feet of my soul
on the drum earth steps
transmitting calling
monotonous thump and thump thump
always the drumming travelling call
always arriving, however faint
--------- may '98
hi my love
i hope you are well
wherever your small soft feet may ruffle
the dark brown earth.
and i hope the passion in your voice
and your radiant dreams
will keep you walking straight
in the love
of the brown earth.
--------- juni '98
unanswered questions
Christina,
¿Do you know of that place
where you are not
and i stumble over my desire
unfulfilled
when the thought of you is too much
and your promises taunt me,
when dreams pretend they were merely vapours
and agony welcomes me back
from my wayward mountaintops?
Ah Lovely Christina,
¿why do you torment me with unknowns,
when you know that without you
my heart is just another
searcher?
--------- aug '98
Looking Up
now we're here
launched by energies
of so many gone before
but now there's only us
tied in dance between this heaven
relying on each other for safety
oh yes to burn with my wing
a swath of freedom in this empty,
this full sky
that watches unconcerned as we traverse
its many paths.
lower lower the inevitable
now alone, looking up,
from the evening star and the rising moon
to that secret space between
there i see us!
gliding where we never left
a soul parting, forever born,
forever flying.
--------- '99
birthday poem
the beautiful faces you send
me a glimpse of
i return with a playful brush
Lily of chance
solitary child of the moon
full of feline mystery, of songs and a smile
that flow deep from passionate eyes
greeting me like an old friend.
peaceful Zulema
fierce like a storm, now active now changing
now gathering in solitude then
dancing a festa
in sea wind and wave
Ariadna
queen of spirit, of planets
learner and lover
mother and daughter
detective of time and thief of wine
and many things i know not yet,
but all of them you are
and neither you are
- to me you are the moon
which makes me smile in longing
and yearn for faraway things
--------- feb '02
El Desierto de solidad
Just beneath his somber eyes
lies a cry
dammed tears of loneliness
that pull down his face
and break his shoulders
------- apr'02
Guanajuato
The world becomes this place
time stops
and starts to dance
like an old man and a girl
in some town square
the strings of music nudge
and beckon my heart,
to intimacy
------ abril'02
Un beso y el alma
Our lips touch
i unclothe my whole soul
to love you
------ abril'02 (for lily)
La vida
Every word reflects man
- the smells, the deeds, the touch
we pay, we give, we dance, we cry
how can i say it
we carry life in our handbags
and death in our spine.
------- abril'02
Nuestros besos
nos caímos juntos
- entrelazando -
el calor en los cuerpos
creciendo volcánes de deseo
de que bebemos
besos de fuego
Despues,
acaricio tus labios tiernos
con un beso tierno de agua
que llamar a tu alma
encontrarnos
por la entrada.
Te miro,
los ojos castaños estan cerrados
e esta ya que me entradas
con pasos sueños
------- may '02
elemental kissess
we fall together
the heat in our spines pulling us close
starting little volcanoes of desire
from which we drink kisses of fire
after,
i brush your tender lips
with a soft kiss of water
- a call to your soul
to meet me at the entrance
i look at you,
your brown eyes are closed
and it is now that you enter my heart
with soft steps
-----------english
a wish
i wish i could kiss your lips
till desire drains from my blood
and reality turns to dust
what dreams resurrect
-------- may'02
Tikal
They stand above
- these ancient sentinels of memory -
indifferent to their jungle womb?
they gaze over the thousand howls
and screeches down below
towards the sun and moon
gods in decline
their stony faces stained
by tears
their servants fallen
long to time
slowly they are also forced to bow
to elemental wind and rain
-----
among these twilight giants
i can hardly bear
that you are not here
to share this sacred twilight.
------- may '02
same dead day
the end of another day
the mirror looks at him with glazed eyes
living the life of the dead
without (
except that the dead
have no regret
about mountaintops
and music and love and..)
you.
------- juni'02
'Rineringe
'Rineringe van jou klim uit my wintershart
syfer deur my bene
kom tot rus agter my oë
waar ek jou sien
helder soos toe -
die manier waarop jy soms oulik jou oë rol,
hoe sensueel jy eet
en so my verliefdheid blootlê,
die onskuldige glinster in jou oog
as jy my vang jou dophou,
die meisie trippel in jy stap
toe ek jou onbetaamlik verras,
die vuur in jou heupe
op maat van die nagmusiek,
die reuk van jou lang deurmekaar hare
styf teen my gesig,
jou sagte bors wat in en uit asem
in my hand,
jou appel lippe wat sagkens teen my die sluimer,
jou liggaam in hartstog teen my gepers,
die oggend neurie wat na my aankom
soos kleure op skoenlappers vlerke,
die manier
waarop jou val...
tot binne in my hart.
Then / A wolf howling for spring's joy
memories of you climb from my dark hart
filter through my bones
come to rest behind my eyes
where i see you,
bright as then -
the cute way in which you roll your eyes
sometimes
the sensual way you eat
(and so reveal my senses drunk)
the hidden sparkle in your eye
when you see me looking
the skip in your step when a glance
caught you improper,
the fire in your hips
in the heat of the midnight rhythms,
the smell of your long tangled hair
close by my face,
your soft breast rising and falling
beneath my hand,
your young apple lips gently asleep,
your body pressed tightly against me,
the morning song that dances from your lips,
the way
in which you fell...
deep into my heart.
-------- jun '02
Oh
you are soo ...
i lo...
oh?!
¿why?
bye,
then ...
------- Aug'02
Words
with words i could weave
a bond to draw you close
to my heart
but if you break free
how i would suffer
each thread
-------- Aug'02
My Scherezade
See us
facing each other in a storm of rain
me kissing the silvery snakes
that run down your naked face
when the movement of moments
lose themselves
i hear your slow voice
from some place before
what doesn't matter began.
i look down in disbelief
at my aching flesh
i never thought i could be so empty
without you
in my treasured nature
a desert sky of touchable stars
awe me less than the fires in your mind;
the curve of your lips
more than the endless african plains.
Princess of Wishes
won't you make my illusions real
and my reality a dream
- i am falling
- Oct 02
la trova
the dark room's
music and voices
lead me to where
I want to write a poem
- to you -
in a language purer than the first note
before words troubled the sun
before god divided the fishes
to write:
the moment when our faces met
so drunk with slow desire
in the moment when i will lose you
when i will despair ever finding you again
to write:
in these wordless streets
i still find
you
my love.
------------ Jan '03
heavy hands
i wish
i could express
to you what i feel
before this body overflows
my hands are heavy with delicate love
my eyes with laughing lightness
my mouth with hidden hunger
my heart with lustfull longing
Dearest
why have you stayed away so long?
to teach my heart endurance
and my mind weakness?
your absence sings in my ears
and i look for you everywhere
in every body,
in wishes and dreams
in questions and books,
in the moon and stars
i compare you to every movement
every curve
surely you are on your way.
------------- Jan '03
Friends
I have a friend who cares deeply and takes all in stride
i have another who's not afraid to take on the high waves of life
i have one who marches into unknown lands and geometry with a dry smile
one as wise and calm as the sea
one as playful as intelligence and honest as the young
one as fiery red for law against injustice
one as light as laughter bubbling from the deep
one as caring with the small things in life like a wise monk
one pursuing life as a young philosopher
one not afraid of studying the depths of the mind with calm
one who's honesty and shining logic steadies the ship
one who's cynicism reveals truth for those asleep
one who is as beautiful and complex as neruda's poetry
and one as deep and colourful as the best red wine he loved
I am lucky.
----------- Dec '03
Quissieras
Quisiera saborte
mientras que bailan
las yemas de los dedos
encima las cuerdas
cuándo cantas
besar con cada nota
desnuda
los hombros
suave
hacia arriba
y abajo
lentamente
desvestirte
línea por línea
hasta convertimos
la música
hacia lenguas
------- '04
I would like
I would like to taste you
while the tips of your fingers
dance on the chords
when you sing
kiss with every note
naked
your shoulders
softly
up and down
slowly
undressing you
line by line
untill we convert
the music
into tongues
------- english
The moth that caught fire/La polilla que le cogío candela
I dived straight for that light
that sun, that moon, that flower
my young wings beating eagerly
my eyes locked with joy
closer and closer
headlong first
new body yearning
in fever,
in bliss
hurling myself at that entrance
there was no other way.
soon near
i started to burn
my untempered body curled
i hid my face
i cried
pull up, pull up
sirens rang
too weak,
too strong
that deep poetry of flame
that kamikaze longing
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ?!
said she
at last
breaking failure
uncomprehending
i gave way
and pleading
i started to fall
¿Why
didn't you let me enter black moon?
my damaged foolishness
hit the grey earth
dark as despair.
my wingless charred
desperately flopped.
Much later,
after the long surviving
i took off renewed and numb,
and hating.
i circled far away
and understood
that i love her still
ps. but isn't it also great fun to be killed on your beauty :)
------- '04
my words have dried up
to become like an instruction manual
without love
without passion
only when i think of you
does my soul go down into the waters.
so i wait,
---------- jun'04
when you arrive
to me
you arrive
like the first rays of morning
- golden, warm, sleepy
giving soft kisses
that soothe and linger and glow
you do not hurry
but flow
a wave of moods and thoughts
that break onto the shore
of your slow
brown
eyes
long lunar hands
and your feet
sad and full of yearning
- aug'04
I or they can say a thousand things
about what may be right or wrong between us
but to me it's all very simple
i'm in love with you
and i cannot tell my heart what to do.
------- aug'04
reiki
far away my mind
floating close to you
my heart slows down to peace
your breath fills me
the stars become our playground
your every touch worth a poem.
------- sept '04
Ma
She is
beautiful and strong
practical and daring
forgiving and caring
in her hands food turns to life
the kitchen becomes a warm refuge
guests feel at home
only She
smokes a sometimes cigarette so stylish
asks such straight yet soft questions
only She
can banish darkness with a word
and listen patiently to hopes and doubts
She was the way of my entry
a foundation of who i am
dankie Ma
for all you gave and give to my life's story
i love you
-- your son paul
-------------- sept '04
alone
the sun shines through the trees
snowflakes dance and fly
i watch them alone
------------ '05
flowers at your door
l i f e, love, pain, death, a funeral,
a purple flower
i try and catch them in my big net
of ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ why ???????????
haha
ha ha haha
haha ha ha
ha ha ha heee hooo
(i suddenly laugh
at my
In NO cent Miss ion)
!!It is
im-
possible to figure out?
but
trying
is a WaY
of laf.luv.love
& these words:
play,
eternal
y
a
pl
ay
ee.
--------- mar'05
Today
today i was
a poor lover
a sad child
a wonderfilled Fiend
tonight
the snow falls heavy.
---------- mar'05
morgental haiku
outside a big church
the sun warms my soul
a woodpecker peckers
leaves walk in the wind
----------- '05
If i could love you
this much in winter
how will i love you in summer?
--------- '05
the way at play
i suppose,
the way
decided
divided
We
to escape?
the l.one.liness (all.een.heid) (een.saam.heid) (Ein.sam.keit)
and now through
deathandbirth
we move
along and back
all ways parting
all ways meeting
our Self/ves
along
the way,
---------- '05
ganja poem? or death or life
(despair)
i'm afraid to live.
i cannot feel.
i love everything.
i'm normal.
i'm good and bad.
i'm hungry for sex.
i'm wounded in my deepest heart.
i'm alone.
i laugh to hide from the pain.
i'm too hard and too soft.
i'm very angry at myself.
i smile at all this.
we have only little choice in life.
i hide myself from others.
life is a like a dream.
i'm very tired of fighting mother.
i tried my best, great friend.
i couldn't get HER to love me.
(death)
my fear of death IS my death.
the name of our biggest fear we call death.
i'm very scared of death but also curious.
(the whole story of my life has to go on!)
but i'm very afraid
death wants to make a hole in my whole
send me down the intestinal sewer
death is being without HER and my dream of what we can be.
(doubts)
I have two big Doubts walking aside me:
One is that a beautiful, desirable, sensitive and clever woman wil (n)ever love me,
And the other that i'm good.
I'm split into two
not one with myself
(desire)
i love you so much my body goes numb and i feel paralysing pain when i imagine you not choosing me.
(laughter)
Anyone who wants to love a lot must be prepared to suffer a lot.
...i'm serious
is this a poem?
--------------------- '05
elemental morning wish
Water,
you run through and over her body every day
will you murmur to her
murmur that she fills me to the brim.
Earth,
she walks on you every day
will you gently touch the souls of her soft feet
to signal my Immovable resolve.
Air,
just caress her body
caress it with the same gentleness and storm
that i do in my dreams.
Fire,
will you kindle a little flame in her heart
one born from the sun of my love for her
and you distant Star,
i know what you say
you say like Rumi that we were one
before the elements were done.
and right you are,
but shoot across the black sky nevertheless
shoot, because i need to live this wish
even if it's always been true.
--------------- juni'05
We are such stuff
mathematics sets the universe
neatly down
what imagination stirs
beyond the boundaries.
The old God is dead,
long live goD and gOd
in the center of it all
the unisoul dreams
----------
soft & hard we're
I want to uninstall her from my heart
but each time i try,
i get an error -
[/#Program in use!/]
it's no use
i don't want to be lonely anymore
but it seems it's a curse i cannot escape
Try telling that to a body
old as chemistry
and
drunk on longing.
-----------
flowers for you
today
while laughter of children
played with gravity
i planted
seeds
of my longing for you
all over the garten
sun flower seeds
great silent seeds of expectation
black seeds of waiting
seeds loaded with beauty
(like you)
i watered them a little
and now
i wait for You
(and them)
(despite storms)
to flower
---------- aug '05
heel-te-mal or autumn in Zürich
i love to be in love
with you
so let it be mad
or wrong
or hopeless
or right
but when you enter
my world lights up
as the dancing glowing leaves
of autumn dress
the setting Zürich trees
---------- oct'05
parting
when i took off from early zuri
it was snowing grey tears
but my sun was still shining
when the wheels left holland the sun was shining
but the light was gone
i started weeping
and making consoling promises
later when the alps suddenly revealed her virgin folds
tears flowed from my heart
and i was determined
to keep my love
below the french coast was ablaze
but in me it was midnight
and i realized
the blue medittereanean devide
is much too wide
between africa and europe
the future belongs to dark afrika as surely as i love her
the east grows but the old heart of the world
will soon shine so extravagantly
that no one will be left untouched
She thinks she knows who i am
but she has no idea
no one can hide from love
not even me.
---------- dec '05
my Dear
my Dear
how soft your lips swell
around your slow rich voice
your eyebrows precisely curved
over wide open pupils
like your mind
beautiful.
---------- apr '06
sorry
i la la laaaaa v you
(and in)
and if
(you don't
want
that
fu
ture?)
i say: i'm sorry for all the igno rant brute
all
conn
fuse
sion
i cause
d
all ready,
& all the suffer
Ring we miss et
al by virtue of & by & because
oh fa cit
this planetary mix up, my hurT feaR and cult ural shi
-elds
(oh no, so
lose - ing
this!
once in alifetimedeathdefyingsnubatuselessmeaninglesslife)
?will you forgive me my deaR
itAlways will be love
i pr o Miss you
---------- apr '06
!listen paul
... listen
NO more Speak
ple!ase Listen
Listen!
.STOP.
listen
and wait
No but. No no
No yes.
s l o w l y. just wait.
nothing
Listen
Continue to
only listen
and
OPEN
Do you hear
?
wait
now continue
just ...
----------sept '07
Innocence
¿Is there a way?
To leave her
but have her
to have myself
but let her love
you burn my body:
sections of lava
scar my skin
set my heart alight
¿Is there a way?
To touch her
but let her flow
to be with her
but be alone
you challenge
you change me
your colors are chants
to my hidden eyes
¿Is there a way?
for us to unite
in sacrum
in soul
in sacred
in one
dance
allone
away ist here
but what to do
love is here
but what to do
¡hhhuh!
-------------feb '08
flight
Here I am again
flying through your dreams
in my dreams
sad, crying
for everything is lighter here
the turbulent ant nest
far below
be loved
flying in dreams of love
all sorts of possible possibilities
what makes us fall
from Safety
to this mad hunger?
apples, sex, kissing, children
turning and turning
i think of you
and i descend
i fall
so far
so far
so low
solo
towards loves
towards the unknown
towards Lila
-------------------- feb '08
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